Since this is the one we are not talking about, I want to begin with spirit anger. Spiritual anger, as the name implies, originates from a place within us that is connected to God and to good. It is often called righteous anger.

When you see the Paris Olympics mocking the Last Supper in a pagan way, the anger you experience qualifies. When you see a crippled or neurologically damaged child and, among other emotions, you are angered by the ravages of a fallen world... that too qualifies. But again, spiritual anger is not our subject today.

(If you have ever wondered if the anger you were feeling was sinful anger or righteous anger, here is a simple litmus test. You can go straight from spirit anger to prayer without having to begin with confessing and asking for fellowship cleansing. That’s because spirit anger is not a sin. Not so with sarx.)

I remember many years ago reading a study published when I was an undergrad. This study, the particulars long forgotten by me, asked adolescents to rank characteristics about their parents they wish were different.

The only specifics I remember about this study were the behaviors that made the top of the list. Two behaviors were virtually tied for #1: “I wish my parents would admit when they are wrong,” was one of the two. The other was “I wish my parents could control their anger.”

This is the anger I want us to look at. This is the anger associated with what the Bible calls our “flesh,” the fruit of our “old nature.”

When Scripture speaks to our flesh, the Greek word used throughout the New Testament is sarx (Greek = σάρξ). Sarx is an intriguing word which refers to our fallen human nature with all of its frailties and passions.

For example, when Paul tells us, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells,” he is talking about our sarx... our flesh... our natural state.

Sarx anger emanates from two related sources. Firstly, given that we are sinners, it will be selfish in some way. Secondly, since we are wounded sinners, it will be reactive, defensive in some way.

The book of Proverbs has a great deal to say about sarx anger. I want to share these with you. Together they form what we might called the syndrome of the sarx angry person.

We all know what it is to express sarx anger, because we all live in the sarx, the flesh. However, there is distinction between someone who commits the sin of sarx anger occasionally and someone who is characterized by it. Please keep this important distinction in mind.

That being said, here are 16 observations which make up the sarx angry syndrome, describing the chronically angry individual (all references are from the book of Proverbs):

It turns you into a reactionary

A fool’s wrath is known at once (12:16)

one who is quick-tempered displays folly (14:29)

“He has a short fuse.” “She has a quick temper.” These are the descriptors of a reactionary.

It is destructive

The words of the reckless pierce like swords (12:18)

Because sarx anger has an aggressive component.

We’ve been lied to. I’ve been hit with sticks and I’ve been hit with stones. Words hurt more.

It is self-deceptive

a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure (14:16)

Sarx anger tells you that you are “standing up for yourself” when in reality you’re just coddling your ego.

It compromises self-control

but one who is quick-tempered displays folly (14:29)

wrath is like a flood (27:4b)

By dysregulating you emotionally, sarx anger leads to loss of control.

It generates conflict

a harsh word stirs up anger (15:1)

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict (15:18)

Raging at someone is equivalent to slapping them. It results in them responding back in kind usually.

It wounds the recipient

a perverse tongue crushes the spirit (15:4)

wrath is cruel (27:4a)

Anger denigrates. In the words of Martin Buber, it treats the other person like an “it” and not a “thou.”

It is counterproductive

the rod of anger fails (22:8b)

Anger does not produce any positive outcome. Its fruit is always some kind of destruction.

It shows a lack of wisdom

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger (19:11)

Realizing the damage to self and others from past anger builds wisdom in us as we learn it’s just never worth it.

It is addictive

A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again (19:19)

This is precisely why they have to be rescued “over and over.” Every episode reinforces the anger.

It makes one combative

but every fool is quick to quarrel (20:3)

Resident anger makes the fight mode of fight or flight a traveling companion through life.

It makes one petty

Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” (20:22)

It is rare to find an angry individual who is good at forgiving.

It is unhealthy

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles (21:23)

Anger is bad for both psychological and physical. When the soul is sick the body often cries out in pain.

It generates regret and guilt

He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow (22:8a)

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, But a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them. (27:3)

If bursting out in anger makes you feel better, you might be in need of a spiritual checkup.

It isolates you

Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul (22:24-25)

No one craves the company of an angry person. Others may love you, but they won’t like you.

It exposes you to danger

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is like a city broken down, without walls (25:28)

Like a city without proper defenses, anger makes it possible for anyone and anything to “push your buttons.”

It makes one look foolish

A quick-tempered person does foolish things (14:17)

The emotion of sarx anger inevitably leads to behavioral displays that makes one look like a petulant child.

The biblical language is actually much stronger than that. “Fool” is the name throughout Proverbs for the person characterized by sarx anger, as the following verses show: 12:16, 14:16, 18:7, 20:3, and 29:11.

We are living in coarse days, dark days, turbulent times. Which means that aside from the inner sources of anger – our fallen and broken self – we daily face these outer sources. A vibrant, daily walk with Christ is our antidote for both sources.

But if you find that you carry with you the syndrome of sarx anger it would likely be helpful to you, not to mention your family and friends, if you explored the cause of this syndrome with a trusted professional.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

Title fun aside, today’s topic is serious business. Worry steals more peace, robs more sleep, disrupts more moods, preoccupies more minds, and stresses more people than just about any other mental state.

And anyone who says to you they never worry. Well, now that is a lie.

Will application of the psychological insights and biblical truths in this post end your worry?

Absolutely not.

If I told you that, I would be lying. We are imperfect people living in a broken and rebellious world. We do nothing perfectly.

But what if you could lessen your worry by 50 percent? Or 70 percent? Or 85 percent? You would take that in a flash, wouldn’t you?

I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is possible! It is amazing what diligent, directed application of biblical truth and time-tested psychological insight, accompanied by persistent determination to subdue a mental enemy like worry can accomplish.

With that reality in mind I would encourage you to utilize the following five steps when worry comes knocking.

1. As soon as you can – get quiet. (It might be helpful if you read our recent post The Healing Prayer of Amy Carmichael.) It’s hard to combat worry on the fly.

There is a visual aid I use to help me get quiet that might be useful to you. God’s Word tells us that He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.^[2]

We are further told that we can take refuge in the shelter of [His] wings.^[3]

Taking the above imagery, I imagine myself alone with God, pushed up close against Him. As close as a mother hen gathers her chicks under her wings when a threat is nearby. This imagery helps quiet my mind. It calms the fear.

I don’t proceed to the following steps until I can sense the Father is quieting my worried mind. I want to feel that quietening calming me.

2. Slow down your thinking. Worry, like fear and anxiety, is one of those emotions that loves speed. Don’t allow your thoughts to race.

Again, mental imagery can help here. In your mind track the setting of the sun as it moves down slowly and then slips below the horizon. Or imagine a faucet with a slow drip and see the drops falling lazily to the ground every few seconds. Or make up your own! All you need is your good imagination. Use any image that slows your mind down.

3. After you’ve slowed your skull chatter (#2), corral your catastrophizing thoughts. Beware of those paralyzing omniscient statements like “I just know how this is going to turn out.” No, you don’t.

Or, “I’ll never recover from this setback.” That’s more than a little catastrophic.

We cannot allow such thinking if we want to break free from a worry cycle.

4. Learn to ask yourself good questions. For example, “Am I really worried about the thing itself, or do I hate dealing with uncertainty?”

It takes a lot of pressure off once we accept the reality that certainty, in this life, is a myth.

This will be especially important if you are one given to a control compulsion (“control freak,” as they say).

5. Enlarge your reality. Worry is one of those thought threads that shoots with a zoom lens. It likes to make the worrisome thoughts take up the whole lens.

Zoom out. Enlarge your reality. If the frame isn’t large enough to include what Scripture says about the problem worrying you, you have lost perspective. You need to zoom out and take in the biblical realities.

Matthew 6:25-30 is a passage loaded with biblical truth aimed specifically at enabling us to conquer worry. Let’s draw some observations from this rich passage.

— Worry is not mandatory: Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?^[4]

Jesus puts it straight out – do not worry. That statement would be as cruel as it is impossible to obey if worry is unavoidable.

— Worry overlooks the Father’s care: Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?... So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.^[5]

Our Lord draws an analogy for the crowd listening that day. The birds are completely dependent on the Father for their day-to-day sustenance. And the vulnerable flowers of the field are beautifully adorned as they stand in reliance on Him.

The rhetorical point is “Do you think the birds and the flowers outrank you... you whom I have come to redeem?” (Are you not of more value than they? He asks.)

— Worry is worthless: Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?^[6]

Worry is an activity with perhaps the worst ROI (return on investment) of any behavior possible. It quite literally has no value. Every consequence derived from worry has a negative impact on us.

This is exactly the point Christ is making when He asks the above question. His point is, worry doesn’t enlarge you. It is not an asset.

— Worry is ultimately a faith problem: Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?^[7]

The point He is making here is simple. Worry and faith cannot occupy the same space. We can bounce back and forth between the two... and who among us doesn’t know that dance!

But they cannot coexist. There is no such thing as worrying faith or believing worry.

I close with this – Don’t confuse being tempted to worry with giving way to worry.

Many struggle here. Like any other temptation, you and I cannot prevent being tempted to worry.

Our responsibility lies in whether or not we choose to give in to that temptation. That is the challenge.

Charles Spurgeon said, “You cannot help birds flying over your heads in the air, but do not let them alight, and build their nests in your hair.”^[8]

The birds of worry will fly over our heads regularly. It is only when we invite those birds in, when we focus on worrying thoughts and give our minds over to them... allow them to build their nests... that the trouble begins.

^[1] RHCP, Under the Bridge.

^[2] Psalm 91:1, ESV.

^[3] Psalm 61:4, ESV.

^[4] v 25, NKJ.

^[5] v 26, 28-29, NKJ.

^[6] v 27, NKJ.

^[7] v 30, NKJ.

^[8] From his sermon, Driving Away the Vultures from the Sacrifice, based on Genesis 15:11.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

First was the holistic prayer of Augustine, which spoke to the importance of knowing ourselves. Next we considered the honest prayer of Teresa of Calcutta which showed us the importance of bringing our whole self to God in prayer, because there can be no intimacy without honesty.

Today we close the series with a prayer from Amy Carmichael. This is a prayer as short as it is significant. A healing prayer. It is a prayer that shows us the much-needed healing of the mind and heart that can come to us in prayer.

My Father, quiet me, Til in thy holy presence, hushed, I think thy thoughts with Thee. — Amy Carmichael^[1]

I want to share a stat from our newly-released book on anxiety: Sixty-four million adult Americans are affected by anxiety. Considering that the adult population of our country rounds to 340 million people, this means 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. suffers from anxiety.^[2]

As bad as that stat is, I wish this were where the story ends. It is not.

According to the U.S. government, in 2023, more than 5.3 million adolescents ages 12-17 years (20.3% of adolescents) had a current, diagnosed mental or behavioral health condition.... Anxiety was the most common condition (16.1%), followed by depression.^[3]

Stressed parents produce stressed children.

We live in a cacophony of noise today like the world has never seen. As if that is not enough, we’ve managed to find a way to multiply the problem several-fold due to the 3x6 device most are glued to. As anyone who works in mental health can tell you, the latter problem – device attachment – has reached addictive levels.

The greatest English dictionary ever created refers to noise as disturbance made by one or more persons... strife, contention, quarrelling.^[4] If these descriptors do not describe our times, I don’t know what does. But it’s worse than that.

Today we have as much noise on the inside as the outside. With my therapy/counseling clients I refer to this internally derived noise as skull chatter. Skull chatter can be an even bigger problem than the din in the outer world.

I can, if I possess the discipline, distance myself from outer noise. It’s harder to get away from the noise within.

How do we deal with all the noise? Amy Carmichael’s prayer has the antidote. We need to be “quieted.” And it is important to understand that we have a part to play in this quieting work of God in our mind and in our heart.

One of my favorite Christian thinkers is that brilliant seventeenth-century French scientist, Blaise Pascal. Pascal tells us: I have often said that man’s unhappiness springs from one thing alone, his incapacity to stay quietly in one room.^[5]

Speaking to Pascal’s powerful observation, Susan and I have had the practice of going on a solitude retreat twice annually for several years now. On these retreats the emphasis is quietness. We spend time in Bible reading, prayer, scripture meditation, silence, and reflection. We take one classic to read through together out loud such as The Practice of the Presence of God, The Cloud of Unknowing, or The Pursuit of God.

It is no overstatement to say these twice-annual retreats have become the highlight of the year for us.

What’s interesting, however, is that when I remind them we will be off the week of the retreat, from time to time a client will inquire about the practice of solitude. Quietness. When I explain it, the answers are all of a similar nature and go like this (actual responses):

There’s no way in hell I could do that.

I’d go absolutely crazy.

It would take me a week just to get weaned off social media, and I’m not even sure I could do that.

People seek constant diversion because stillness confronts them with themselves, their mortality, and existential unease.

In this time when many are being eaten alive by noise outside and skull chatter inside, it is imperative that we learn to find quietness.

Psalm 46 offers the perfect remedy, for it is all about stilling our minds and hearts in times of chaos. The Psalm references trouble, fear, natural disasters, war, national and international conflict.

For nine verses the psalmist has been speaking. This changes abruptly in verse 10. God speaks.

Be still, and know that I am God.

Grammatically, this is a command. The opening could just as rightly be translated Quiet! Or Stop! Or Cease striving!

Note carefully that the rest of the verse relays the certainty of who God is and the peace which comes from knowing He is in perfect control of everything. But this certainty stems from that one command... Be still.

We have to first get quiet. We have to be still. We have to stop.

God is not a personal assistant. He will not commune with us on the fly. I am not saying we will lack His presence as we are going through a busy day. But I am saying that if we do not set aside a time of quietness each day to be alone with Him, we are unlikely to experience peace amid all the noise.

The French have a word that sounds as beautiful as it is rich – sangfroid (pronounced säˈfrwä). The word means a composure, a coolness demonstrated in times of danger or under trying circumstances.

It is a part of that very rich Bible word peace.

Is there anything more needed today?

To have it, we must practice quiet. We must have that time daily where we are still. This is when He will freely communicate, when He will whisper to our hearts and minds, know that I am God.

It is when we pray with Amy Carmichael: My Father, quiet me, Til in thy holy presence, hushed, I think thy thoughts with Thee.

^[1] This prayer is from the mid-1930s. Ireland’s Amy Carmichael (born 1867) never married. Despite being in physical pain throughout her life, she gave herself to rescuing the forgotten children of India. Victims of the caste system, these boys and girls had been exposed to unimaginable circumstances, including trafficking and slavery. She died in 1951 at the age of 83 and was buried in India. I recommend her many books to our readers.

^[2] Michael Ruth, PhD, Anxiety... and how to conquer it.

^[3] https://mchb.hrsa.gov/sites/default/files/mchb/data-research/nsch-data-brief-adolescent-mental-behavioral-health-2023.pdf

^[4] I am referring to the 20 volume Oxford English Dictionary, 2^nd edition, 1991.

^[5] Blaise Pascal, Pensées.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

Today we look into the importance of honesty in prayer. And I know of no better example than the following prayer of Teresa of Calcutta. Teresa was a woman who spent her life dedicated to ministering to the “the poorest of the poor” in India.

And though I am by no means in her theological tradition, I do appreciate and benefit from this heartfelt and honest prayer of hers. (The dashes are hers.)

“Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone.

The darkness is so dark — and I am alone. — Unwanted, forsaken. — The loneliness of the heart that wants love is unbearable. — Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.

So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me… When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul…If this brings You glory, if You get a drop of joy from this — if souls are brought to You — if my suffering satiates Your Thirst — here I am Lord, with joy I accept all to the end of life — & I will smile at Your Hidden Face — always.”^[1]

This prayer is so raw, so plain, so... I’ll say it again, honest... that I need not comment on it at all.

I will only ask this. When such as hers is the true condition of our soul, do you pray that honestly? Do I?

If you say, “But I have never felt such things!” Then I would gently say to you, my friend, I don’t think you’re very deeply connected to yourself or to life, let alone to your relationship with God.

It we cannot relate to this prayer, we may possess width, but it brings into question any notion of depth.

In the most general categorizing, we can say there are three layers of relationship: superficial, casual, and intimate.

There are several characteristics which come together to define these categories. But one such characteristic is found in the conversation. The richness, the honesty, the level of self-exposure found therein.

Deep calls to deep, the Word tells us.^[2] If we desire to move deeply into our relationship with Christ we must be willing to invite Him deeply into us. There is nothing that will accomplish this quite like honest prayer... like telling Him the truth.

Because that is what friends do. There is no depth to a relationship that lacks in truth telling.

We are adept at talking to the Lord when our tide is at flood – times of joy, of praise, of thanksgiving for blessings. And truly, that is a good practice! We should to this.

But are we as good at coming to Him when our tide ebbs? When we are discouraged, doubting, angry – even at Him? When we are tired of the unanswered prayers. The confusion, the silence... the seeming absence?

Do we bring our bile? Our outrage? Our cravings?

We are not talking about disrespect here. He is our Heavenly Father and certainly we should honor that fact when we come to Him in prayer. But this truth does not negate honesty.

How can God ever move us out of a dark place if we aren’t honest with Him when we are in just such a place?

You may be asking, “Is what you’re suggesting biblical?” Certainly. Consider the following.

O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? ... Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.^[3]

I cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain. Am I a sea monster or a dragon that you must place me under guard? I think, ‘My bed will comfort me, and sleep will ease my misery,’ but then you shatter me with dreams and terrify me with visions. I would rather be strangled—rather die than suffer like this. I hate my life and don’t want to go on living. Oh, leave me alone for my few remaining days.^[4]

But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the LORD, “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”^[5]

If you want one from the New Testament, I will share one that is not only a sublime example of honest prayer, it is the greatest example ever... even the greatest example imaginable:

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?^[6]

^[1] One of her private letters which contain extended passages written as prayer. This is an excerpt from one, addressed directly to Jesus, was written c. 1959.

^[2] Psalm 42:7.

^[3] Psalm 13:1-3, NLT.

^[4] Job 7:11-16, NLT.

^[5] Jonah 4:1-3, NIV.

^[6] Matthew 27:46, NKJV – From the cross, Christ is quoting Psalm 22 here. If you want another example of honest prayer, I encourage you to read Psalm 22 in full and see David’s full lament as he cries out to God in honest prayer.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

We begin with a prayer of Augustine:^[1]

I call Augustine’s prayer holistic because it urges us toward an understanding of both who we are and who God is. Many Christians claim a vigorous pursuit of the latter while demonstrating a fearful avoidance of the former.

And yet true spiritual growth cannot exist apart from at least a modicum of self-awareness and self-understanding. The Scriptures tell us to “deny ourselves” in favor of the cross. It never once encourages us to be ignorant of ourselves.

I’ve no doubt Augustine had the Delphic maxim “know thyself” in his mind as he prayed this prayer.

You will notice in all our materials that Susan and I have a preference for the term psychospiritual. This is because as far as the inner life of a person goes, that term is comprehensive. Holistic. It recognizes that we are both spiritual beings and psychological beings – the latter being concerned directly with the mind... and the emotions and behaviors which emanate from it.

Let’s see what we can observe from Augustine’s very wise prayer in which he asks God to give him the ability to know himself.

Looked at psychologically, we could say there are two aspects of a person – we are a self... and we have a story.

On the psychological level, most of our inner struggles come from aspects of our self, our story – or both – that we have yet to make peace with.

We must be careful not to use ostensibly spiritual pursuits in an attempt to gloss self-work.

A woman told me of having been raped as a teenager. But she was in utter denial of the impact this horrible experience had on her, historically using the defense mechanism of rationalization to suppress the experience. And yet she was on an anti-depressant.

For two decades she had tried to ignore her past trauma by focusing intently on her spiritual development. (She was a dedicated follower of Christ.) It wasn’t working.

Spiritual healing cannot take place around psychological wounds that we aren’t willing to bring to the light.

When Nathan the prophet confronts David, he takes him straight to the king’s self (his lust) and his story (taking Bathsheba and essentially murdering her husband, Uriah). Self and story.

In our understanding of the Master’s scathing words to the pharisees in Matthew 23:27-28, I think we fail to make a useful application. You may recall that, in that passage He blasts the pharisees of being phony. “Hypocrites.”

As such, He goes directly to their intent. They cared nothing about being righteous. They only wanted to look spiritual.

However, if we step away from intent and look at consequence, I think there is something here of much value for us as believers. If we do not allow the Word to illumine us (remember, it is a light^[2]) and show us areas of our self or our story that need healing or change, what becomes of those encounters with the Word? There is nothing they can do but lay on the surface of our life.

Like a coat of paint.

I think this goes far in explaining the sad state of the American church today. We are not bringing our self and our story to the Word where the Holy Spirit can use it to bring real and lasting healing and change to our life. Consequently, our brokenness and need get trapped within us.

This creates its own kind of whitewashed tomb. Much different from that of the pharisees. But every bit as real.

Augustine is not the only voice from the past to pray for self-understanding, by the way. Centuries earlier Polycarp – who was personally discipled by the Apostle John – prayed the following, “Lord, help me to face the truth about myself.”^[3]

I want to turn now to the second half of Augustine’s prayer.

“...may I know Thee.”

Please don’t take my brevity here as my being dismissive or cavalier about this part of the prayer. The reason I spent the bulk of time addressing the first half of Augustine’s prayer is because of the extent of neglect among believers in this area.

Saying that, it is essential that we pursue a deeper... a growing understanding of our Lord.

God does not need us to seek Him. But He does deeply desire it. That fact alone should compel us to seek Him out in love. You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart, says Jeremiah. (29:13)

Our Lord not only wants us to seek Him... according to the previous passage... He wants us to find Him! It is in this searching and finding that, to use Augustine’s words, we come to know Him.

This seeking and finding was so important to the Apostle Paul that he penned these words: Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish,....^[4]

What does this pursuit of God, as Tozer called it, look like? We should desire... and pursue... knowing God like a thirsty deer in a drought looks for and craves water: As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God.^[5]

In closing, I would suggest that we should not only know Augustine’s prayer, but that we would be wise to pray it as well.

O God, ever the same; may I know myself, may I know Thee. That is my prayer.

^[1] Augustine, Soliloquies: 2,1.

^[2] Psalm 119:105.

^[3] See https://acollectionofprayers.com/tag/polycarp/.

^[4] Philippians 2:8.

^[5] Psalm 42:1-2a.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

In this brief series, I have chosen three of those types from the book to share with you.

We first looked at how a perfectionistic personality naturally creates anxiety. Last week we explored how the thoughts and emotions of a shame-based individual attract anxiety.

And in this post we consider the characteristics of HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons), why this personality type tends toward anxiety, and how to guard against that enemy using specific Scripture I find to be particularly helpful to HSPs.

In the early 1990s, clinical psychologist Elaine Aron gave us the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP.

Dr. Aron’s research suggests that roughly 15-20% of people have a more sensitive nervous system than the rest of the population. Hence HSP.

Let me be quick to say here that there is nothing wrong with the HSP. Nothing more is implied than a personality type. To be clearer still, we are not talking about a disorder or pathology. There is nothing that needs to be fixed.

This construct is simply useful for helping you understand yourself and others, if you are an HSP or have one in your immediate circle.

What is important for the HSP is to learn the basic characteristics of their personality type... and how to protect themselves from the natural responses to life concomitant with being an HSP.

What are some of the characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person? Here are five:

1. HSPs have a tendency to process cognitively more deeply than others.

What I mean by this is that an HSP tends to consider a matter longer and more intensely than other people. One HSP described it to me as “thinking something to death.”

2. HSPs have a heightened emotional response. This applies to external stimuli but also to their own thoughts.

Not only do HSPs tend to think a matter through longer, they also experience that stimuli more deeply than others. Put simply, HSPs feel more strongly, more intensely as a general rule.

3. HSPs tend to exhibit empathy both easier and deeper than the general population, largely due to #2 above.

If you are going through a rough patch in life, it is good to have an HSP in your circle. You will feel listened to and cared for.

4. HSPs characteristically have a greater awareness of subtleties. They are attuned to nuance. They catch subtle shifts.

This fact can be both good and bad. On the debit side of the ledger, this is why I said earlier the HSP must learn to protect him or herself from the inherent challenges in their personality.

In both sight and sound, they take in more data and data can sometimes be hurtful. A facial expression, a vocal tone will hit the HSP stronger. This means the potential for more hurt, especially when you consider that they will stay with that experience longer than others tend to. (By thinking about it longer and thus feeling it longer... and more deeply.) This leads to our fifth and final point.

5. HSPs have an increased susceptibility to overstimulation. It is easy to see why, once you understand the profile.

Too much stimulation is to an HSP what too much sunshine is to those whose eyes are sensitive to light.

Considering these characteristics, I am sure you can see why the HSP could be a prime candidate for anxiety.

Ongoing rumination and heightened emotional response to those thoughts are a fertile breeding ground in which anxiety can flourish.

By learning these tendencies that are naturally built into their personality, the HSP can build safeguards that will protect them from overstimulation and anxiety.

Refusing to ruminate over experiences is a good start. It is helpful for the HSP to remind themselves that they don’t have to continue thinking over something that has recently happened.

Learning to build healthy boundaries is also crucial for the HSP.

Spiritually, the HSP likely needs to balance their understanding of biblical truths about our God. It is easy for them to focus on the stern aspects of God and dismiss the balancing truths.

Yes, God is righteous. Yes, He loathes sin. But this is not the full picture.

God is compassionate, slow to anger, rich in mercy. He is patient, gentle. He is parental... in the best sense of that word.

In attempting to persuade the rambunctious Corinthians to correct their walk, Paul said to them – [I am] pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ.^[1]

In that magnificent song of the deliverance God gave to him from the hands of his enemies David says - You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your gentleness has made me great.^[2]

We could go on and on, but let me give you just one final passage to consider.

Having been rejected en masse and with Calvary rapidly approaching, Christ says this to the Jerusalem throng – O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, ... How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!^[3]

Even though they rejected Him as their king... even then He tells them He would have gathered them to Himself as tenderly as a mother hen sweeps her chicks under her wings in time of danger.

We must never discount the loving tenderness of our God toward us.

If you are an HSP remember this. You are not weak. You are sensitive. That’s a far different matter.

Take comfort in this, the anxiety you experience as an HSP in not part of your personality. It is the consequence of not having tools adequate for helping you adjust to life as an HSP.

By analogy I would have you think again of the person who is sensitive to sunlight. There is nothing wrong with their eyes. They just needs a good pair of sunglasses!

^[1] 2 Corinthians 10:1

^[2] 2 Samuel 22:36

^[3] Matthew 23:37

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

In this brief series, I have chosen three of those types from the book to share with you.

Last week we looked at how a perfectionistic personality naturally creates anxiety. And in this post we explore how the thoughts and emotions of a shame-based individual attract anxiety.

The shame-based person carries a secret. Not a truth… but a secret.

And he or she is tormented by it.

The ability to experience shame is a healthy human characteristic. It is one of the guardrails instilled in us by our Creator to prevent us from, among other things, becoming utterly sociopathic.

Healthy shame nudges us back toward a sane center. It addresses a behavior and, acting only in our best interest, tells us, “That was unfortunate” or “That was wrong of you. Let’s remember to not do that again.”

This is not at all how toxic shame works.

Toxic shame does not speak to an attitude or action. That is, it does not speak to something emanating from you. Its message is much more insidious. Much more damaging.

Toxic shame whispers (or shouts) to you in an ongoing way that you are no good. It tells you that you are fundamentally broken.

Toxic shame tells you that you are unlovable.

In the most literal sense of the word it wants you to believe that you are beyond redemption.

The shame-based individual feels that she must guard this “truth” about herself with all diligence… because if anyone finds out what she’s really like, they will pull away.

(It is beyond the parameters in this article but I will just comment here that the shame-based profile most often has its origins in attachment issues from childhood. Not always, but most commonly. And it is by no means limited to unbelievers.)

A phrase I have heard from more than a few clients over the years is, “I’m afraid that when you find out what I’m really like you’ll be disgusted.”

In every case, their concern is not about something they’ve done, or something done to them. Rather their anxiety comes from what they think will happen if they open up about who they are. (That is, how they see themselves.)

The wording can vary slightly, but the message is always the same with these clients. I can state it like this: When you know who I really am, you will be repulsed by me.

In their mind, he or she is the horrible wound.

A shame wound makes you feel like you live on the brink of vulnerability. One wrong word, one mistake, one behavioral misstep and you will be seen for the broken, misshapen person you really are. You will be exposed. And that possibility of exposure is both terrifying and exhausting to body and soul.

It is easy to imagine the potential for anxiety in the shame-based person. Consider the pressure it puts on someone to carry that kind of burden through life.

Reflect for a moment on the effort it takes to construct a presentable mask to the outside world while feeling so bad about yourself on the inside.

This is not hypocrisy.

Rather, this is someone who believes at all cost that he must hide who he is because he feels wholly unacceptable. He feels broken.

Going through life with a shame wound is the perfect storm from which anxiety can and usually does emerge.

If you are carrying a shame wound, let me offer you some hope.

Let’s go back. Way back.

Do you recall what Adam and Eve did after the Fall? Piteously, they tried to cover themselves. They stitched fig leaves together in the attempt to cover their nakedness.

(There is so much I would like to say at this juncture. But to keep our focus, I’ll move on.)

Why on earth did they do this?

Because they had done something to be ashamed of. Did you notice that? They had done something to be ashamed of. So far, so good.

But in a way both spiritually and psychologically destructive, they internalize the problem. There was a way to do this constructively. After all, they did need to internalize what they had done. They did need to own it.

Unfortunately, they internalized it destructively. (No doubt spurred on by the enemy’s thought poison.)

Adam and Eve take on a self-improvement project. If we cover up, maybe we’ll be okay.

They are now tormented by the very nakedness they exhibited without any qualms whatsoever before, as they walked with God in the Garden (“Who told you that you were naked?”^[1]).

With human effort they seek to fix the problem – a folly still practiced today.

There is but one solution. Be done with fig leaves. Quit trying to be enough.

Rather, embrace the admonition of Paul – Put on the Lord Jesus Christ.^[2] Let His righteousness clothe you like a robe.

Later, Paul carries the imagery even further saying that if we are in Christ we have clothed ourselves with Christ.^[3]

Our shame – both healthy and toxic – are of the old man, the old Adam. If we have been clothed in Christ through redemption we have put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.^[4]

If you want to begin the conquest of a toxic-shame wound and the anxiety it produces, realize that as a believer you are no longer walking about in fig-leaf couture of your own stitching.

Celebrate the reality that you are now clothed in Christ.

There is no shame to be found in that gracious attire.

^[1] Genesis 3:11

^[2] Romans 13:14

^[3] Galatians 3:27

^[4] Ephesians 4:24, which he repeats in Colossians 3:10.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

In this brief series, I have chosen three of those types to explore.

We start with the perfectionist.

As I have often said to clients, I have never met a happy perfectionist.

I have met successful perfectionists, people who have risen to great heights in their chosen profession. They are the set it and forget it type of people. They can always be depended on to do a good job; their internal standards demand it. Such people are a boon to any company or business.

I have met skillful perfectionists. In the arts they turn out beautiful work because they are relentless until they get it “just right.” In music, Steely Dan comes to mind.

One famous example is the recording of the guitar solo on “Peg” from their brilliant album Aja. Fagen and Becker (the core of Steely Dan) auditioned seven different premier session guitarists – the best of the best – for the 30-second guitar solo. They generated dozens of hours of tape in the process. Guitarist Jay Graydon nailed it… after working on the short solo for about six hours.

But it is widely held that the drivenness and relentless obsessive perfectionism of Fagen and Becker is largely the cause of the demise of Steely Dan as well as the burnout and personality problems of nearly everyone who worked on that album. Especially the two principal members.

So as I say, I have met successful perfectionists and I have met skillful perfectionists.

But I have never met a happy perfectionist.

The very qualities that make a perfectionist reliable and excellent in their performance are also the characteristics that make them prone to anxiety.

For the perfectionist you see, the stakes are always high. Very high.

I want to give you an idea of what I am talking about by way of illustration. In the Smoky Mountains it is not uncommon while hiking a trail to come upon a ditch with a bridge fashioned from a felled tree. The ditches are typically dry and it is just a few feet to the grassy ground below. Walking the bridge is no problem, and even if you do fall off it is no big deal. You get up, dust yourself off, and get going again.

This equates to what performance is like for most people.

Not so, the perfectionist.

For the perfectionist, performance is less a ditch and more like the Grand Canyon.

Imagine stepping onto an incredibly long, narrow tree bridge on one side of the canyon and having to walk it to the other side.

Consider some of the points that would be in play:

• you would dread the trip

• you would hate the journey

• you would miss the experience

• you would feel nothing but relief IF you made it, because

• you would realize all that awaits you is another crossing (performance)

That is life for the perfectionist. Put succinctly, the stakes are just too high! And it is an ongoing experience, day after day.

In light of the above, I trust you need no help from me to see why the life of a perfectionist is chock-full of the opportunity for anxiety.

If you are someone who struggles with, and suffers from, the need for perfection, I encourage you to anchor what I am about to say into your heart and mind... and live with it until the truth of it sets you free.

Through the salvific work of Christ, we have been set free from that awful burden we call perfection. A burden, I might add, that is utterly impossible for us to attain. Don’t try to carry that burden. You are doomed to buckle under its load.

Theologically we champion the vicarious atonement of Christ. An interesting word, that. It comes from a Latin word meaning “substitute.” Vicarious refers to a deed or action done for another.

The Master accomplished on the cross what we could never accomplish for ourselves – our salvation.

But there is another way we can look at this truth, a way which sheds light on the subject of this article.

He was also vicariously perfect for us. There were no sins, no shortcomings, no imperfections in Him.

If you want liberation from the drivenness of perfectionism... and the anxiety it carries with it... rest and trust in the one who has already been perfect on your behalf.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

Magic aside, we use a mirror to look at ourselves. It is a useful tool in the physical realm. It is wickedly dangerous in the spiritual.

With smoke, you can’t see. With a mirror you see clearly. But all you can see is yourself. And therein lies the trap.

Proverbs 14:10 tells us, “Each heart knows its own bitterness.”

You know you. You know what you’ve thought. You know what you’ve done. You know the attitudes you have held.

If you can be tricked into keeping your eyes on the mirror... to looking at yourself instead of looking at Christ... you are cooked.

This is a sure road to despair, even depression. It’s a path to being swallowed up by regret and remorse, guilt and shame.

It’s a practice, a habit, that will suck the spiritual energy right out of you.

And, though this is a bit off topic, let me add that mirror-gazing is the chief cause of genuine believers doubting their salvation:

· Have I really believed?

· Is my faith strong enough?

· If I were truly saved would I still struggle with...?

· If I belong to Christ why do I still have doubts?

· Wouldn’t I have more joy?

Virtually all salvation doubts are caused by fixating on the mirror. Look at yourself and most of what you will see is flaws and failure. What you will go away with is doubt.

By way of illustration consider this. In John 3:14 the Master said this: Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up.

If you know that Old Testament story, consider this. What an error it would have been for one of the Israelites to begin thinking:

· What if I’m too far away? (It’s estimated there were two million people in the migration. Very few of them could actually see the serpent lifted on the pole by Moses.)

· What if I’m not looking in exactly the right direction?

· What if I haven’t prepared myself to look?

· What if this story about a serpent on a stick isn’t true?

· What if it doesn’t work?

What was going on in the mind and life of that particular Hebrew individual wasn’t the issue. The raised serpent was the issue. That is where they were commanded to look.

Here is something we are wise to remember: The closer you look at us – any of us – the worse we look. The closer you look at Jesus, the better, the more beautiful He looks.

Our gaze is to Him. Not at the mirror. The mirror distracts. The mirror redirects.

There is a psychological condition known as body dysmorphic disorder. BDD is a disorder in which an individual is preoccupied with one or more self-perceived flaws or deficits in their physical appearance. Usually these “flaws” are unobservable to others or appear as something only slight and insignificant.

Over the course of my practice I have worked with individuals struggling with body dysmorphic disorder. It is a challenging issue and one which causes a great deal of pain and suffering to those struggling with it.

As you might well imagine, mirrors are the bane of the BDD individual. Mirror checking becomes a behavior that can actually eat up hours of their day.

Why in the world am I telling you this?

Because I have also worked with many Christians who are afflicted with what I call spirit dysmorphic disorder.

These individuals suffer too. And they are just as susceptible to mirrors. Books, podcasts, sermons… even Scripture itself... I’ve seen all of these used in the mind of the Christian with SDD (not an actual diagnosis, merely my working term) as distractions to turn their eyes to themselves and their own shortcomings, and away from Christ and the grace and freedom He has procured for us.

We are told to examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5). We are given no indication whatsoever that God intends us to habitually perform a spiritual autopsy on ourselves.

Jesus has set us free so that we “might have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

We will never experience this by staring into the mirror of self-scrutiny. It is only a distraction, a misdirection. A painful one to be sure, but a misdirection nonetheless.

It will only serve to make you solipsistic... caught in a cycle that keeps your mind focused on yourself. For the Christian, a solipsistic habit is usually characterized by fear, doubt, worry... anxiety.

Remember, our enemy is called the accuser. He can whisper accusations in your ear all day long about you and about how you fail to measure up. And much of it will be true.

But he is rendered mute when it comes to accusations against our Lord. And it is to Him we look, not ourself.

We must ever hold before our mind’s eye that the message of our redemption in Christ means exactly this: When the Father looked at His Son hanging on the cross, He saw not the spotless Lamb, but me and my sin. Now, when He looks at me He sees not my sin but the spotless Lamb of God. That is the theology of redemption.

That is what the sacrifice of Christ purchased for us. That is why freedom and joy and a restored relationship to the Father is ours by inheritance.

And that is why psychological or spiritual torment no longer has a rightful claim on us.

Though the author had something else in mind, I want to close with a quote that speaks perfectly to this trap of mirror gazing for believers. I encourage you to read these words slowly and deliberately:

This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most fatal characteristics; for is there anything more absurd than to wish to carry continually a burden which one can always throw down? to detest existence and yet to cling to one’s existence? in brief, to caress the serpent which devours us, till he has eaten our very heart?*

* Voltaire, in his novel Candide.

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

Misdirection is a harmless and simple way to – when it works, that is – control what the audience sees. Smoke and mirrors, misdirection, is still used in magic today. And, as a tool of entertainment, the distraction and deception it employs is utterly harmless.

We might sum the matter up by saying smoke and mirrors is a technique to keep the audience’s mind away from what is really important. (You might want to keep that sentence in mind.)

In this post I want to talk a little about smoke. It might surprise you to learn that this is an idea chock full of biblical and psychological significance.

Smoke is a tool of the infernal enemy. In 2 Corinthians 4:4 the Apostle Paul says this:

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (ESV)

That word “blinded” in the passage actually carries the idea of “shrouding in smoke.”

The eyes of the unbeliever are not closed. They just can’t see the truth of the Gospel because their vista is clouded in smoke. Smoke provided by “the god of this world.”

It is not only the unbeliever who is affected by smoke. While that same term isn’t used, there are many passages indicating we believers are prone to distraction... to being misdirected from what’s really important.

Like this one: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? (Matthew 6:25, NIV)

As you likely know, this passage concludes in v. 33 encouraging (and commanding) us with: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Elsewhere we are cautioned in a passage that tells us of those who fail to produce fruit because they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. (Luke 8:14, NIV)

Smoke not only blurs and distorts our vision – it chokes us as well.

It is surprising how many times in the New Testament the phrase “the cares of this life” are juxtaposed as a trap and snare regarding spiritual growth and right priorities.

The latter is what earned for Martha a gentle rebuke. “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41, NLT)

As believers, it is important to recognize that the smoke gets in our eyes too.

To me, this is a very hard thing to get right. I struggle with it more than I wish. We are told we are “in the world but not of it.”

And I believe that.

But it’s a sticky wicket. For indeed we are in the world. And that locative requires a lot of upkeep! It’s tough sometimes, for me at least, to get a sense that I am getting that delicate ratio worked out to the Lord’s satisfaction.

In closing, let me come back to the central point of this whole idea of “smoke and mirrors.” (We’ll look at mirrors next time.)

As I said at the beginning, the entire intent behind it is to misdirect, to distract, to manipulate into not seeing what’s really going on. What really matters.

The magician doesn’t deceive. For every member of the audience who is deceived by the smoke and mirrors, their own mind does the deceiving. The magician just activates the process.

Goethe tells us that all deception is self-deception (in his Maxims and Reflections). If we are being deceived by all the misdirection taking place around us... not just in the world around us, but in our own lives as well... we can do something about this.

We can get in the Word, we can pray, we can worship, we can fellowship, we can think and reflect.

In both Testaments, the word for spirit is also the word for wind. It is no strain on credulity to say that as we practice the spiritual disciplines cited just above we can ask, and expect, that the Holy Spirit will blow the smoke away from our vision. We desperately need to see clearly in these darkening days.

We don’t have to fall for the misdirection because we are not “unaware of his [the ultimate magician’s] schemes,” (2 Corinthians 2:11).

Til next time,

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

This mistake involves what I am calling here a cardinal principle of marriage. Despite its important, even critical nature, I see this mistake at least once a day when marriage is the subject of the counseling or therapy.

Because of it’s significance, I want to give you that principle up front, and as succinctly as I can put it:

You cannot maintain a vibrant marriage, let alone experience growth in it, with behaviors that would never have led to marriage in the first place.

I encourage you not to rush by that statement. It is as immutable as the laws of physics.

Just what am I saying?

I’m saying that to keep a marriage in good health, and to grow it into something even greater, the relationship itself must be an ongoing priority for you. It requires the kind of prioritizing you gave the burgeoning relationship when you were dating.

I want you to consider how inconvenient falling in love was to your then current life.

· It distracted your focus

· It rearranged your priorities

· It demanded your time... lots of your time

· It took incredible energy

· It was utterly inconvenient

And it was worth every blissful, wonderful minute of it!

You had found your “pearl of great price” on the human level. And just as in the parable, you gladly sold all that you had to win her or him.

And it was great!

For a while.

Then slowly, almost imperceptibly slowly, focus changed. Mortgage, career, child, finances, the Joneses (you know, the ones people try to “keep up” with) crept in.

I hear all the descriptions from clients: “We feel like ships passing in the night.” “We just seem like roommates.” “I feel like we’re nothing more than business partners.”

The primacy of the relationship has moved to the back of the stage.

You wake up one day and realize you’re in a place you never imagined you would be when you were dating. I know this because I’ve tried to warn so many couples of this danger in their premarital counseling. But they’re so in love they can’t imagine it happening to them.

I’ve heard it many times. It sounds like this.

Dr Ruth I know you know what you’re talking about and I’m sure that happens to a lot of people. But it won’t happen to us. We’re just SO in love.

Uh-huh.

And they are!

But they’re likely wrong in thinking it won’t happen to them.

I can almost tell you for certain it will happen. That is, unless they safeguard against it by attending to the primacy of their relationship as the years unfold.

*So I want to come back to the key principle as I close this post: You cannot maintain a vibrant marriage, let alone experience growth in it, with behaviors that would never have led to marriage in the first place.

You know what to do. You’ve already done it. You did it when you were dating. It will be a different version from then, a more mature version. But the aspects of it will be the same.

Blessings!

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

Characteristically, men and women communicate differently and often the anger shows up here. But I don’t want to telescope in to that degree... to just communication.

Instead, I’d like to address a question many wives have asked me over the years,“Why is my husband so angry?”

That’s not a bad question. In fact, it is a very good question! God Himself asked this very question of Cain. “Why are you so angry?” (Genesis 4:6)

Of course, I cannot speak specifically to this as I do not know your husband. But I can make some educated guesses. And I’m pretty sure that one or more of these will apply.

1. Social Psychology
Historically any boy who showed emotions like fear, pain, sadness, and vulnerability were mocked, ridiculed, and called rather unflattering names.

The only emotional expression allowed was anger (and its sibling, aggression).

That anger emotion then becomes ingrained, almost reflexive. Thus the emotional keyboard of most developing boys gets reduced down to one key – anger.

2. Poor Early Bonding
When we are talking about early bonding we’re talking about what is referred to as attachment styles. That subject is too broad for this post, so I will just say this. Men with anger issues tend to have experienced an insecure attachment style with their significant parent.

Real or potential conflict with their spouse – like an argument – triggers this innate insecurity. He feels vulnerable, thus he gets defensive. He gets angry.

3. Unaddressed Wounds
This one relates to #1 but differs from it.

I have worked with so many broken men. The problem is, their brokenness is hidden beneath four inches of tac-welded boiler plate. It is sealed up as if in a vault.

Because of #1, he’s never even been allowed to experience his inner wounds, let alone acknowledge them to another.

Conflict with his spouse rattles those wounds. It bangs against that hidden sense of not being “enough.”

He feels defensive. And so, out comes the one-key piano. He responds in anger.

To the guys out there I would just say this – you have to look inside to discover why you are angry.

You will likely need some help with this journey.

And you have to be willing to feel what you find. Really feel it. Because the way out is through... always through.

Your anger is not the problem. It’s a secondary emotion. It’s your default defense against an inner wound.

And I say this as gently as I can – your wife is likely tired of experiencing it.

Til next time,

Christians Who Thrive brings together timeless biblical truths with psychological wisdom that equip you to replace the pain and frustration you now carry with personal, spiritual, and relational experiences you long for. ©2026 Growth Resources LLC | Christians Who Thrive. All Rights Reserved.

This first entry is characteristically (but not exclusively) seen in wives. Part 2 is characteristically (but not exclusively) found in husbands. And in Part 3 we’ll observe a fault that both husbands and wives contribute to.

A couple is riding down the road on a beautiful spring day. They are sitting quietly, listening to the music on the CD. (Remember those?)

The wife breaks the silence with this. “I just want you to know that I forgive you for what you did to me at Mom and Dad’s.”

The husband responds, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What did I do and when did I do it?”

She answers, “I’m talking about what you said to me at the dinner table on Thanksgiving.”

A brief silence follows while the husband is trying to sort this out in his head. He then says, “Honey, we haven’t been to your parents for Thanksgiving in three years!”

The wife replies, “Yea, I know. I just want you to know I’m ready to forgive you.”

Three years. One hundred and fifty-six weeks. One thousand and ninety-five days.

And her husband had no clue.

This is what I mean by emotional hoarding.

Here’s something important... I would say crucial... to remember about emotions.

If you’re hanging onto a damaging emotion, you have two options.
You can talk about it – or you will behave it.

That’s a cardinal truth.

If you don’t talk about it, you will behave it.

And you will negatively impact your relationship by doing so.

Some years back I developed a technique that will prevent emotional hoarding. I call this technique the DI-DI Principle.

DI-DI stands for Discuss It or Drop It.

Where there is emotional immaturity you will find a third (and indefensible) option. The individual will hang on to the issue – emotional hoarding – and will punish you.

This practice creates a lot of relational disturbance and conflict.

If you wish to avoid this kind of relational conflict, practice the DI-DI principle. Hold yourself accountable to do one of two things when your spouse hurts your feelings or otherwise irritates you.

Choose to discuss it... or drop it. Don’t hoard it.

If you trap those feelings inside, you will (consciously or unconsciously) begin to behave them. And your marriage will suffer as a result.

Let me add one final comment. Not everything is worth discussing. Overdoing this just makes you come across as petty.

In fact, the more you choose to let go of – within reason of course – the freer you become from the actions and attitudes of others.

Letting go doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise. It reflects back to yourself the belief that your life is too significant to spend it in the weeds addressing trivialities.

That’s real power.

And it’s the way to break the practice of being an emotional hoarder.

Thrive Thought

You can think of emotional hoarding like a harmful bacteria that infects a relationship, at best weakening it and at worst breaking it down over time.

With that in mind, I’d like to offer a few suggestions that may facilitate whichever of the two—discuss it or drop it—you choose.

If you decide to discuss it, take responsibility for how you processed what the other person said or did. In other words, lead with the words, “I felt like you were saying…” or “what you did made me feel like…” instead of “You said…” which is much more accusatory.

If we take responsibility for how what was said or done made us feel, rather than accuse the other person of intending harm (which puts them in a defensive posture), we’re that much closer to a peaceful resolution.

Otherwise, trying to judge their motive or intent just drags the conflict out and often makes it worse.

And if you choose to drop it, just make sure you do, indeed, let it go. Human nature wants to hold onto hurt as a way to justify our pain and even comfort ourselves in it.

We refer to emotion as “energy in motion” or “emotional energy” because it is. And the first law of thermodynamics says that energy cannot be destroyed; it must be transformed. Which is to say, emotional energy needs an outlet of expression.

So if we choose to drop it, that means we need to seek a healthy means of expression if we’re going to be successful at releasing, or transforming, this energy.

Here are some ideas for healthy expression:

• Go for a drive or a walk somewhere you can talk out loud and not be heard by others… and then talk it out with God as if you were in conversation with Him about it. Tell Him honestly how you feel. Or just do the same thing in your prayer time. And then ask Him for the strength and love and forgiving spirit to let it go.

  
  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

• And… or… you can express the hurt by writing it out on a piece of paper. Why it hurts. Where it hurts. How bad it hurts. You can even let the paper catch any tears that come. Keep writing until you see and feel the hurt being transferred from inside you to the paper outside of you.
  
  And then shred the paper. Or wad it up and set fire to it. Or tear it into tiny pieces and flush it down the toilet, thereby seeing yourself physically “letting it go.”

• On the other hand, you may just simply be able to drop it. Like a rock you hold in your hand and then open your fingers and just drop… choose to open your heart and release it. Then ask the Lord to fill the hurt spaces with His love, for “love conquers all.” That’s true spiritual maturity.

I hope this is helpful in a really practical way.

God bless,

This week we’ll conclude that delightful scene from Proverbs 8 by zooming in on what, in particular, elicited an even more joyous reaction from Wisdom. Because this is a truth wonderful and powerful enough to reshape both how we see ourselves and how we worship the One who made us.

Wisdom, as Proverbs 8:30-31 tells us, was both God’s instrument in creation and, in poetic terms, an observer of it.

Wisdom frolicked as she saw the beauty and precision of all that God was making. She clapped, she danced, she laughed, she personified pleasure as she witnessed God at work. She was happier than a child at play.

We looked at verse 30 last time from two vantage points – Wisdom’s Presence (30a) and Wisdom’s Pleasure (30b).

Today we conclude with Proverbs 8:31 as we consider Wisdom’s Perception. Verse 31 tells us that as Wisdom looked upon God’s completed creation she was, “rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind.” (NIV)

Our attention is brought to two arenas in verse 31:

The first is creation completed, the second is God’s unique creation –
the one made in His image – man and woman.

When Wisdom observed God’s finished creation she“began rejoicing in His whole world,” the outset of verse 31 tells us. Again, the word rejoicing means “to laugh, to frolic, to celebrate, to dance.”

The picture is that Wisdom is standing back, taking in the beauty, the splendor of all that God has made and she can do nothing else but break forth in unbridled joy and pleasure and happiness. Poetically she is bouncing around like a newborn colt who has just discovered the spring in her legs!

What a beautiful truth for us to envision... and to celebrate!

As one observer noted,

“There is not one blade of grass and there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice.”

But then something happens. Wisdom telescopes in and spots something on this home planet of ours. She sees, and instantly recognizes the distinction in something unique. She sees man and woman. At that point she has another spontaneous experience.

She was “delighting in mankind,” the text tells us. Again, as last time, we have a familiar word. The Hebrew word used here for Delight means to take extreme pleasure in something.

When she focuses in and sees the man and woman it’s almost as if her breath is taken. She sees instantly what God has done here. She recognizes at once the image of God in the couple.

This hits her differently. The pleasure is intense but the experience is more inward than outward. It’s almost as if she looks upon the couple and in awe responds with an astonished “Oh my!”

It’s as if Wisdom recognizes that creation has come to its close with a crowning glory – man and woman.

What should our own response be to this splendid cosmic scene laid out for us in Proverbs 8:30-31? Surely seeing this scene aright will have two effects on us. First it ought to fill us with wonder. I mean – what a scene is before us!

This should make our hearts leap within us when we see it... which will naturally lead us to the second response, that of worship.

Wonder and worship. They flow quite naturally from the beautiful truth of Proverbs 8:30-31.

Blessings,

Thrive Thought:

You were particularly crafted by the hand of God... and He rejoices over you.

We know Genesis 1:27 states that “God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” And, of course, we know this references Adam and Eve in particular.

But do we realize that God also specifically made you and me, individually and uniquely?

Consider these verses:

• Psalm 139:13: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

• Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

• Isaiah 44:24: “This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the Lord, who made all things...”

And I believe we can rightly surmise that... as He did with Adam and Eve... after creating you and me, God saw what He had made, and said it was “very good!” (Genesis 1:31).

Proverbs 8:31 tells us that Wisdom delighted at the sight of humanity for she saw the image of God etched in each one of us. If Wisdom reacts to your existence with admiration and awe, what would it take for you to see yourself with even a fraction of that same holy wonder?

“I bear the image of God. I am His handcrafted joy.”

Unlike the freedom we celebrate as a nation every 4th of July, this freedom is more than just external liberty, as wonderful as that is.

The liberation Jesus came to give us is a soul-deep release from the grip of sin, shame, and brokenness.

Not only that… the gospel also has the power to liberate us from our broken psychology.

How often we live trapped in cycles of guilt, fear, anxiety, and people-pleasing, just to name a few.

Many are haunted by the belief than they are never enough... and never will be.

Self-help books will tell you how you can construct your way out of the kinds of tortuous beliefs and experiences stated above. Not likely.

Why? Because they fail to take into account a pivotal truth, one so pivotal in fact that we might call it the gospel truth:

Personal freedom is not achieved — it is received.

Liberty of this kind, soul-deep liberation, is “the gift of God, not of works,” as Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us.

When we surrender to Christ and turn the reins of our life over to Him, we are not “improved” — we are made new! The Savior breaks the chains we often don’t even know we’re wearing because we’ve worn them so long.

The Holy Spirit rewires our hearts and minds. He quiets our inner critic.

And glorious freedom —

He invites us to live from acceptance and not for it!

The presence of Christ within us anchors our worth, once-for-all established, and guides us into life abundant. Life liberated.

On this great day of celebration for our nation I would remind us all that a personal liberation is being offered us in Christ, right here, right now.

As A. W. Tozer put it, “All that Christ is, all that He has accomplished for us is available to us now if we obey and trust.”

Happy Independence Day!

We are told of wisdom’s connection to the very creation of all that is. In this passage wisdom is portrayed in personification – as an observer to creation itself – and also as God’s instrument in creation.

The passage lays out the particulars of creation in vs 22-29 in a general way and then builds to a glorious conclusion in verses 30-31 that is completely delightful.

And tucked right in the middle of this conclusion is one of the most beautiful truths in all of Scripture, for my money.

“Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman...”
(Proverbs 8:30a, NKJV)

Wisdom’s presence, 30a

Our text tells us that wisdom was there with God during creation as a “master craftsman.” The idea of course is not that there was another being there with God – a being called Wisdom.

Rather, what is being depicted for us is that as God was creating all matter, wisdom was the instrument He used.

Looking at the world around us it’s easy to see the fruit of wisdom in creation. The complexity of nature, the harmony of the seasons, all of creation is full of wisdom’s fingerprints.

As tempting as it is to expand on this, I must leave it to get to our destination. I want to turn to what I am calling A Beautiful Truth.

“And I was daily His delight,
Rejoicing always before Him.”
(Proverbs 8:30b, NKJV)

Wisdom’s pleasure, 30b

As wisdom was there at creation as both His instrument and – in the poetic language of our text – a personified observer, wisdom was overwhelmed by what she was seeing. “I was filled with delight day after day (during creation), rejoicing always in His (God’s) presence.”

Two words: delight and rejoicing. Let’s look at them.

Delight is actually plural – “delights.” The idea is that of extreme pleasure, of amusement. Think of a child skipping through a field or bursting into laughter at something delightful – that’s the image Scripture gives us. Wisdom is pictured as hopping with joy, completely taken with the beauty of God’s work.

Now let’s look at rejoicing. The word means – and I just love this – to laugh, to frolic ... to celebrate, to dance.

And these words together give us our beautiful truth. As wisdom watches creation unfold – being at once God’s instrument and an observer to the process – she cannot contain herself.

She is laughing and frolicking and clapping and dancing and ... celebrating ... at all the wonder before her eyes!

The Message translation has Wisdom saying it like this:
Day after day I was there, with my joyful applause!

Wisdom, older than creation itself is depicted here as frolicking like a child at Christmas over all she has witnessed at creation.

Before sin ever entered the world, before we were even made, the atmosphere around God’s work was filled with joy.

Not just power, not just intent – but also joy. Pure, unadulterated joy!

This, my friend, is the beautiful truth.

Take some time today to observe the world around you through the lens of delight. Notice the glory in a sunrise, the laughter of a child, the birds' morning songs. Let these realities of life remind you that God created everything not just with purpose and intent, but also with pleasure!

A powerful storm came through one day and lightning shattered one of those 100-year-old oaks. The tree was cracked open from the blow, the top two-thirds falling to the ground.

Driving to my unit one day (adult long-term) I noted that all that was left of the tree was sawdust from where the stump had stood the day before. The rest of the fallen tree was now gone as well.

About a month later I had to go to the administration building and in the expansive conference room was a new addition. The room was now hugged in tall bookshelves that looked to my eye to be constructed of cherry wood. They lined three of the four walls in the room and were, in a word, magnificent.

I was stunned because bookshelves like these were far beyond the budget of a state-funded psychiatric hospital.

“Wow! Those are beautiful,” I said to the hospital director, who happened to also be in the room.

“Remember that oak the lightning took out?” he answered. “They came from that!”

Here’s the story.

The large maintenance division of our hospital was headed by a master craftsman. He couldn’t bear the thought of that oak being ground down to mulch.

Instead, he dreamed a dream from dead wood.

He took that dead oak and milled the tree into lumber. So it turns out I was wrong about the bookshelves. They weren’t cherry; they were oak. Hand made with love from the mind and skill of a master.

What this says to me…

It doesn’t matter what you have been through. It doesn’t matter how far you have gotten off track. It doesn’t even matter if you’ve had a (hopefully metaphorical) lightning strike in your life.

There is a Master Craftsman just waiting to get His hands on you. And it just so happens that He, too, was a carpenter.

Put yourself in His hands. Trust Him as He uses the saw, the plane, the rasp, the sander in your life.

Yield to Him.

Surrender (which is a practical translation of “be still” in Psalm 46:10, by the way – “Be still and know that I am God”).

Trust the Master Craftsman. He has a plan. He knows already what He intends to fashion you into.

Paul is alluding to this very truth when he calls us, “His workmanship” (Eph 2:10).

It’s funny, isn’t it. As Christians we readily embrace that Christ died for our sins to restore us to the Father.

And yet, somehow, most of us struggle with believing that God is as active and as interested in our lives as this post implies.

I think G K Chesterton has it spot on: All men matter. You matter. I matter. It’s the hardest thing in theology to believe.^[1]

Although it is hard to believe... dare to believe it.

Dare to believe that you mean that much to God. That you matter that much to Him. Dare to believe He is at work in the vicissitudes of your life... in every detail.

Believe it – and then in the spirit of Psalm 46:10, surrender it all to Him. Just, let it go.

And watch what the Master Craftsman creates in you. And what He creates you into.

^[1] As stated in his Father Brown short story The Quick One.

Sunflowers are one of the unique contributors to that group of plants know as hyperaccumulators. These remarkable plants not only survive... they actually thrive in toxic environs, tolerating levels of poisons that would kill most other plants.

This is why they’re frequently used in cleaning up contaminated land and water (a process called phytoremediation).

Remember the famous nuclear disasters in Chernobyl (1986) and Fukushima (2011) which dumped radioactive cesium and strontium, as well as heavy metals like lead and uranium into the soil and water?

Sunflowers were planted in both instances to help with the cleanup!

Which leads me to suggest that the sunflower is an excellent metaphor
for God’s purpose for His children in this world.

Scripture makes it undeniably clear that God plants His children where He places us to have a purifying effect on our surroundings... our environment. Often, that environment incudes regions that are toxic. Poisonous.

Consider the Old Testament luminary, Joseph. Listen to his words:

...God sent me before you to preserve life. For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;.... (Genesis 45:5-8)

Talk about a toxic environment! Ancient Egypt had more gods in their pantheon than could be numbered. If it existed, you could just about say Egypt had a god for it.

And yet that’s where God planted Joseph.

You are the salt of the earth ... You are the light of the world, says our Lord. (Matthew 5:13-14)

He plants us where He chooses to be people of influence and impact... people He can use to reach and redeem... to rescue others from the toxic environment of the world’s system and alienation from Him.

Too often, we Christians look at a poisonous environment as something God is doing to us instead of as something He wants to do in us and with us.

We take it as punishment. We take it as God being mad at us, or some such.

Rember the words of Joseph, “...God meant it for good.” (Genesis 50:20)

Your environment may be poisonous in some areas. Perhaps it’s your work place. Maybe it is an unbelieving or rebelling spouse. Ill health can be a kind of toxic environment if we let it.

Toxic environments... poisonous places can be hard.

But I encourage you to remember that God isn’t doing this to you. His purpose is to do something in you and through you. That’s why He planted you where you are.

Remember the sunflower. They weren’t planted around Chernobyl and Fukushima in order to kill sunflowers.

Blessings,

Upload a picture of yourself to your preferred AI platform and give it the following prompt. Tell it to change one feature of your face. Pick whatever you wish. You might tell it to change the shape of your nose. Or its size. You might tell it to pull your eyes slightly closer together or change the shape of your lips.

The resulting image will mess with your mind! I’ll tell you why in a moment but first let me explain my experience.

Susan and I were working on cover ideas for our soon-to-be-released book, Anxiety… and how to conquer it. And we wanted to include a picture of yours truly on the back cover.

Despite the fact that we told Chat to leave the photo completely unchanged, apparently it just couldn’t resist. (LLMs are not as “smart” as we think.)

One rendering had me with an “ear to ear” smile showing practically every tooth in my head.

I’ve never smiled like that in my life folks.

That picture really messed with us… and now we come to the reason yours will mess with you as well, should you try this little experiment.

The picture, you see, almost looked like me.

That night in bed I was reflecting on this experience and it brought a passage of Scripture to mind.

I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”^[i]

While we who have responded to the Gospel invitation of Jesus walk about in our day-to-day lives, we almost look like ourselves. Almost, but not quite.

The difference is both quantitative and qualitative. Because once we are “changed,” we will be so much more (complete) but also so much better (a perfect creation).

Our passage tells us this present body is mortal and that it is perishable. That is a more pleasant way of saying it dies and it decays.

But wait till you see how we end up! We will have a body impervious to that great enemy of life. Death.

We are promised that in the coming world we will have a body that cannot die and cannot decay. A reality purchased for us by the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. A reality that includes a body both glorious and eternal.

Then and then only will I look as I was meant to look. Then and then only will I look fully like me. Then and then only will you look like you.

What are some practical implications of this reality? There are surely more, but I would suggest three.

First, we ought to be kinder to ourselves. I don’t mean we should pamper ourselves more or be more self-indulgent. I mean kinder. Which is an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, by the way.^[ii]

I am into my third decade as a psychotherapist and counselor. I can categorically tell you that I see very little difference between the internal dialogue of a Christian when compared to that of an unbeliever. Generally, it is every bit as toxic and serves only to beat the individual down. A toxic inner dialogue wounds and limits.

Disabling self-talk is the psychological term for this practice.

Second, we should be more gracious to our fellow believers. To everyone certainly, but especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. That’s biblical, you know. Paul admonishes us with these words, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”^[iii]

Remember, they don’t quite look like themselves yet either. Almost, but not quite. He or she will one day be all they were made to be. But they aren’t there yet. And it’s sometimes obviously so... just like you and me.

That’s why we’re encouraged to be patient with one another.^[iv]

Lastly, I encourage you to take hope in that great day of which our passage speaks. We will one day be new people in new bodies! Perfect people in perfect bodies!

The body, the person that is susceptible to decay and death... the body that stoops with age and twists with disease and damage will be long gone.

Our spiritual struggles and psychological brokenness will be a thing of history.

The Bible calls the day this will occur our “blessed hope,” and ties it to the return of Christ.^[v]

And we should be excited about this truth!

Just as Jesus was completely recognizable as Himself after the resurrection, so too will we be. But until that great day I have to content myself with almost looking like me. Just as you have to with almost looking like you.

Can you imagine what it’s going to be like on that great day when we see each other for the first time... really see each other as God intends us to be?

Little wonder that John tells us, “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”^[vi]

I wouldn’t be surprised if, on that day, we look at faces so well known to us in this present life and say, “Oh my! So that’s what you really look like!

^[i] 1 Cor 15:50-55, ESV.
^[ii] Gal 5:22-23, ESV.
^[iii] Gal 6:10, NIV.
^[iv] 2 Tim 2:24, NKJV.
^[v] Titus 2:13, NKJV.
^[vi] 1 John 3:2, ESV.

Today we examine how the humble fire poppy can give us hope when life brings pain our way.

The California fire poppy (papaver californicum) is a remarkable little flower. So delicate… and yet strong as a hickory stick on the inside. One might think the name comes from its bright reddish-orange color, reminiscent of flames. But such is not the case.

The fire poppy doesn’t shine until times get hard.
In fact, it doesn’t even appear until times get hard!

Growing in the rocky chaparral land of the American southwest, the plant comes to life after the land has been ravaged by wildfire. Hence the name.

The seed of the fire poppy lie dormant for decades in that hardscrabble environment. The heat and smoke generated by the fire – which destroys most plants – actually stimulates the fire poppy to life! The ash-rich layer the fire leaves behind provides the soil conditions in which fire poppies thrive.

There’s much for us to learn here.

Job tells us that we are “born for trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7). A timely simile given that we are talking about something that doesn’t grow until the fire comes.

And that’s how it is with us, my friends. There are parts of our growth in Christ that will lie dormant for years (not unlike the fire poppy) awaiting the fires God sends our way to germinate them and bring them to life.

Sometimes the hindrances are external.
Sometimes the hindrances are internal.
In both cases, the solution lies in fire.

Externally, the fire burns off the dense vegetation that smothers out the ability of the poppy to germinate. Internally the fire cracks open the tough seed-coating that prevents the flower from springing to life.

Once again we can see how, as believers, we are in the same position as the fire poppy. Those who know their Bible know that we are told of the three enemies we struggle against – the world, the flesh, and the devil.

The world and the devil are external challenges. They are to the believer what the dense vegetation draining the soil of nutrients is to the fire poppy.

The flesh is our great internal challenge. It is akin to the husk that stifles the seed’s potential for life.

God’s solution is fire.

The fire brings pain, no doubt.
But it is a pain that is only for our good and our growth.

This is precisely why Peter (1 Peter 4:12-13) says to us, Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

I don’t know what pain you are facing now. It may be physical... it may be mental and emotional... it may be spiritual... it may be relational.

Take heart and take hope, my friend. Think of the fire poppy.

God knows your pain. And He has a purpose in it.

Remember – the fire is not the end. It’s the beginning.

Til next time,